Teaching Gripes

Some gripes for you, in numerical order.

1. I hate grading papers.
2. I don't like getting emails from students asking questions that I've previously addressed in class.
3. Whatever it is, it's probably on the syllabus.
4. My office hours are not the same as class. If you missed class, we're not going to have a one-on-one tutoring session.
5. Sharing an office with fifty other people is never fun, especially when they have super-loud conversations out in the open.
6. Related item: If you want to talk to one another, just sit down so the cubicle walls block some of the conversation. Or go in the hallway. There's nobody out there trying to work.
7. Don't start a conversation with "Hey, can you do me a favor?" when you really want me to do you a favor. I'm likely to "forget" to do it.
8. If you emailed me and I ignored you, either take a hint or call me via the telephone. I'm more likely to respond to calls. Or first class letters. Or personal visits.
9. Bring your books to class.
10. Seriously, every time.
11. I'm not joking. Bring them.
12. Did you check the syllabus?
13. If your email looks like a txt msg omg im wnt rply wtf im yr english instructor thnk u.
14. Don't be a bigot in my class. This includes racism, sexism, and ethnocentrism. If it might be offensive, assume it is.
15. Related item: "Gay" is not an all-purpose adjective for anything you dislike.
16. I don't grade things when I'm in a bad mood; thus, you will not be getting your assignments back tomorrow.
17. Cite your sources. Correctly, please.
18. You have free access to one of the best research libraries in the world. Wikipedia, therefore, won't count as a source for your paper.
19. Don't show up late.
20. Don't leave early.
21. Don't expect an A without putting in a lot more work than you did in high school.
22. You've wanted to be treated like an adult for a while, right? Well, now you are. Expect adult consequences.

That's it for now. I feel a little better. See you in class tomorrow.